Wow, I haven't posted here for a long time now. So sorry!

Well, I'm doing great. :D Living 12 hours without food for 3 days now. Breakfast at 5:30am until 6am and then go through the day living on nothing but water until 6pm. I break the 12 hour fast during dinner, coz I really can't escape it. :( So far though, it's been great.

While my sister was vacationing for a few days, I told her to buy me the Insatiable book by Eve Eliot. When she came home, I was in school and when I came home, she was at work and I saw the book on my desk beside the Second Star to the Right. I already assumed that she had seen it. And when she came home, she asked me why I was buying books about anorexia. I just shrugged my shoulders and then she asked me if I was anorexic. I casually answered no, as if being anorexic was the last thing I was going to be. Totally denied it.

I can see my ribs again. :D And my collarbones are sticking out. Yay. <3

I said on my previous post that I'm going to post my story here, how I became ana and all. I'm still on the progress of typing it up first, and trying to remember how it all started.

Hope you girls are doing great!

Take care, now. :)

<33

B - Yogurt [80]

L - Quesadilla [?]

S - Yogurt drink [60]

D - Steak sandwich thing [an estimated 115]

TOTAL - 255 more or less.

I have no idea what my current weight right now is. I've been feeling skinny lately though, haha. And yeah...so I finally started school. Was supposed to skip lunch today but I was really hungry. I'm going to skip lunch tomorrow until Friday. I might skip dinner on Saturday as well, since I'm not at my house under the watchful eye of my evil parents, since my batch is having an interaction with our neighboring school from 3pm until 10pm. I hope the food sucks. Haha. So I don't have to tempt and stuff myself with shit.

I want my protruding bones back again. I miss looking at my wrist and seeing that bone stick out. I miss my ribs and how I could feel each bone. Sigh.

I might post my life story soon. On Saturday maybe? Before I leave for the interaction thing. I'll probably post pictures or whatnot. Depends.

Hope you girls are doing better than me.

Ana comes first, yo.

<3 Stay strong, stay safe and lots of love.

Stupid fluctuating weight! I keep on gaining 2 lbs and then losing them and then gaining them back again! I'm probably gonna gain another 2 more lbs because of this fuck up schedule of nothing but food.

December 29
Cousin's birthday, dinner at some Chinese restaurant

December 30
Dad's side family reunion lunch at my dad's brother's house.

December 31
Dad's side family reunion lunch at my dad's sister's new house and spending New Year's Eve at the Penninsula Hotel.

I've been eating a lot of yogurt nowadays...with 0% fat and just 80 calories. Awesome food and I read that it can trim down your abdominal fat. And it'll look like you're getting a treat too!

Anyway, since I fucked up during the holidays, once I get back to school, I'll be doing a bit of sort-of fasting for 2 or 3 days. No breakfast and I'll try - no, will survive until my 6pm dinner which I will be eating less of. There will be no snacking once I get home from school [it's a great weakness]

<3 Stay safe, chicas.

Yes! Dropped 2 lbs! So happy!

All I have to do is keep this up.

I've been doing good lately.

Haven't binged and definitely slept yesterday after lunch until 4:30pm to stop myself from going downstairs and grabbing food off the kitchen. I've got no more food to snack on either. I have one last granola bar left and a bunch of Dole mixed fruits.

My sister, dad and I are going out later for bread shopping. My sister already asked me what new healthy snack food I'm gonna buy. I'm okay with her asking, coz she knows I'm really obsessed with how I look and what I weigh...I think she got used to the idea but she doesn't know my eating disorder, and I intend to keep it that way.

I helped my dad make some chicken salad that he himself created and I grated the cheese. When I was young, I was really addicted to cheese and I had to stop myself from eating the grated cheese that was in front of me. I took one bite and that was it.

We're probably dropping by at Starbucks later. I want my Starbucks planner already! 6 more stickers to go before I can get it! Gah! Well, since the stickers for the "normal" Starbucks drinks are done, I have to order one of the Christmas specials:

Toffee Nut Latte.
Size is short [8 oz], non-fat milk and no whipped cream.
Estimating about 130 - 140 calories.

That isn't so bad. I allowed myself to eat on Saturdays, but only in moderation.

I fear Noche Buena.

Midnight snacking.

Crap.

<3 Take care & stay safe.

Shit. Back at 100.

This Christmas season is bullshit, despite all of the gifts and shopping.

I'm gaining back what I've lost.

Protruding wrist bones, spines, collarbones and shoulder blades and etcetera are slowly disappearing. FUCK.

For the past few days, I've been doing NOTHING but stuff shit inside my mouth, particularly cookies. My friends and I had a Christmas party and had two slices of pizza each and other food lying around. I admit I had fun, but still...ugh, the food.

I've been waking up early just so I can do some exercise by using the stationary bicylce for 30 - 35 minutes. I once stayed there for 1 hour.

I miss last summer when I didn't do anything at home but eat and got the shock of my life when I dropped 8 lbs just by eating and [barely] sleeping. I'd usually sleep at like 4am - 5:30 and then wake up at lunchtime, missing breakfast everyday. Sigh.

This is bullshit.

Do I have to wait for summer to do this again?

This sucks.

Can't wait for school again.

Major fasting.

I hope ya'll are doing better than me.

<3 Take care all, chicas.